If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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