He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
