I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
