I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
