Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Too much gin, very little bucket
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
