White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
