im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
