dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
