I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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