I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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