Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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