how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
