Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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