A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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