This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize