Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
When are your genitals available?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
