So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Randomize
