can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
now i know why i became what i already was.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
