Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
