I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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