I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
