I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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