all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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