recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
