Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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