I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
