well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Vodka?
Forever.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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