If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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