even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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