whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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