just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
