People in love make me want to vomit
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Do vagina's smell?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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