did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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