my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
