If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
