either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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