i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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