You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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