Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
