the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
