glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I want a musical about memes.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
