I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
another moral hangover. fuck.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
