ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My room smells like vodka and shame
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
