yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
