I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
