shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
