I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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