I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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