He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Randomize
