He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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