Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
