she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
