every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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