we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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