one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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