hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize