Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
