It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize