i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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