Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Acid is not a monday night drug
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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