yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize