I think my vagina is haunted
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
