You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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